The Married Man & His Second Family

This week’s judicial decision focuses on one woman’s story of her divorce and how she nearly got taken advantage of by her adulterous husband. Valerie Kincaid describes how she was wronged by her husband and the steps she took to make sure she was able to move on with her life following her divorce.

Our Marriage Broke Down

The breakdown of my marriage came as a complete surprise to me. Don and I had been married for almost 20 years, and for the last two years of our marriage things had begun to deteriorate between us. To me, it seemed like everything I said and did every day was being picked apart, and that Don wanted nothing to do with me, even on our good days.

I never planned on getting divorced, but I suppose no one plans for it when you walk down the aisle. Once he started to call me names every day and get more and more aggressive, I knew it was time to walk away, no matter how scared I was of what the future held. With that in mind, I begin to research divorce attorneys in Pennsylvania so I would be able to secure my future.

At this point, I had no idea what the future would bring, but I knew it had to be better than what my life would have been like if I had stayed in the marriage. I didn’t know this at the time, but part of the divorce process is something called discovery, and this had something to do with reviewing bank accounts, assets, property and other finances so we could figure out who got what in the divorce. It was during this phase of the divorce that things got messier than I ever could have dreamed of.

The Settlement that Changed My Life

It turned out that Don had been living a completely secret life—complete with a second wife and two year old son! He worked out of town for weeks at a time, but I always assumed that was just how he provided for us and our teenagers.

If my attorney hadn’t been looking carefully into our finances, she wouldn’t have found that he had purchased a second home in Denver and spent tens of thousands of dollars each month supporting his secret family. His other wife had no idea that he had been leading a double life, and I’m not sure if she ever will.

The only thing that helped me pick up the pieces of my life after this news was that the judge essentially threw the book at Don for his actions and awarded me 75 percent of our marital assets, or, as it turns out, around $2 million.

She implemented both child and spousal support orders that ensure the kids and I would be financially stable while I get on my feet. Our marriage may have come to an end, but I know that at the end of the day, both our children and I are better off.